I, Randall Terry, being of sound mind in my own opinion, do hereby express my wishes as follows:

1. If I am ever severely brain-damaged or terminally ill, I want to be kept physically alive by whatever means necessary, including feeding tubes, respirators, or any other machine or contraption that will perpetuate my respiration as long as possible.

2. I don't care how severely brain-damaged I am or if you have lots of neurologists saying that I am utterly devoid of cognition and that the condition is irreversible, I want you to keep my respiration and bodily functions going as long as possible by whatever means are necessary to do so.

3. I don't care how much pain I seem to be in or how much I might scream and beg and plead for a merciful end, I want you to keep my respiration and bodily functions going as long as possible by whatever means are necessary to do so.

4. If I am ever severely brain-damaged and permanently unable to control my bodily functions,
and someone dares try to unhook me from any sort of life support device, I want my health care agent Tom Delay to see to it that the matter is tied up in the courts for as long as possible, and that both the United States Congress and the state legislature are called into special emergency sessions to pass unconstitutional legislation to keep them from taking me off life support.

5. If I am ever severely brain-damaged and permanently unable to control my bodily functions, I want my health care agent to see to it that footage of me lying in bed, in a catatonic state, drooling and in diapers, is featured prominently on every national and local news broadcast every single day until my last breath.

Wherefore, on this _____ day of _________, 2005, I Randall Terry hereby sign to attest that these are my end-of-life wishes, and that my signature has hereby been witnessed by Eric Rudolph and Pat Buchanan.