The Ehrlich Report--An IMC Template for Reporting Demonstrations

As spring approaches and the season for rallies, demonstrations, and candlelight vigils is
upon us, I look with considerable apprehensiveness at the task of having to write about these events once again. And so, I have designed an all-purpose format for those who may be assigned the thankless task of reporting demonstrations.

(IMC–Baltimore) Despite the (blistering heat, freezing cold) weather, demonstrators
estimated (by the Park Service, the Police Department public relations spokeswoman, the march
organizers) to be a (handful, small number, large number, larger than anything seen by the old
timers, over 200,000) started assembling (at sunrise, noon, randomly) (on the monument
grounds, at the park adjacent to a poor ethnic neighborhood, in four different locations).

Police officials said that they had learned from (Seattle, New York, Florida, reruns of Hill St. Blues) and were prepared for anything. The demonstration was basically (peaceful, unruly, disrupted by a handful of militants).

Observers commented that the event was (reminiscent of the sixties, reminiscent of the
nineties, reminiscent of last year). (No, few, hundreds of arrests) were made but a few protestors had to be ( restrained by huge policemen, gassed, made to lie down in green pastures, shot). Police seemed to target (random persons, anyone who looked at them, people with press passes)as well as persons dressed in black. The Police Commissioner praised his men for their (restraint, professional conduct, beating the crap out of demonstrators with cameras). March organizers along with the (ACLU, NLG, CCR, PDF) claimed their civil rights had been violated and called for a (class action suit, reparations, death to the running dog lackeys).

Speakers at the rally called for (the impeachment of the President, sitting in at their
Senator’s office, writing letters to the editor, forming alliances with unions, attending the next
A.N.S.W.E.R demonstration). The central theme of bringing the boys back home now seemed at
times to be drowned out by calls for (where is Ralph, a two-state solution, eracism, support of
transexual marriage). A contingent dressed in green, chanting (spank the bank, forgive all debts, bread not bombs) advocated the end of neoliberalism as we know it today. Another group (of self-styled anarchists, of stylish anarchists) called the Midwestern Anti-Capitalist Bakers carried signs saying (capitalism sucks, Bush sucks, Monica sucks) and called for (world peace, peace in our time, a piece of cake). One sign read “we don’t want the crumbs, we want the whole bakery.”

The youthful marchers were colorfully costumed wearing (black, pink, purple). Many
wore faded torn jeans but many were (nattily attired, dressed in fairy costumes, topless). Some had traveled (from the Estonian Liberation Front, on a school bus, hundreds of miles). Others had been working on a neighborhood beautification project when they found themselves
surrounded by the protestors and police. One of them, (a 16-year-old from Poughkeepsie NY, a
local banker, a resident of a local half-way house for the psychologically disabled ) said “I will never be able to plant a peony again.”

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