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Bush Soils Self in Panic of Plane Incident



October 23, 2004 Melbourne, Florida

During a campaign speech in Melbourne, Florida, President Bush soiled himself when a private plane buzzed the event and Secret Service briefly indicated an actionable incident was underway. White House spokesperson Trent Duffy said, "The President was never in any danger"; however, the uncertainty of the incident, cumulative stress of the campaign, poor eating patterns and flu bug that has been plaguing campaign staff seemed to have taken its toll.

Bush was on a helicopter tour of four cities, Fort Myers, Lakeland, Melbourne and later, Jacksonville. In Melbourne, Bush's stump speech was briefly drowned out when an F-16 fighter flew overhead and appeared to intercept a small plane that could be seen not too far off in the distance. The small plane flew away.

"This can't help the President's cause in an election that is running this close. It does show he's human like the rest of us," noted one Bush supporter who was close enough to the President to have caught wind of what had happened. "It's an embarassment, but doesn't reflect on his ability as a leader. Kerry is a flip flopper whose weakness would invite terrorist attacks. We don't want to have to have a permission slip signed before we can protect ourselves."

The Bush Campaign was busy doing damage control, first with denials and then a media clean up initiative. "Reports circulating about the President's appearance in Melbourne, Florida are unfounded. There is no evidence of these allegations, and we call upon responsible news media organizations to curtail their speculations on this matter." The Drudge Report www.drudgereport.com was one of the first to reveal the story, but has since removed all mention from its web page. "The power of this White House is astounding." commented one media observer. "Within hours of the initial story, the web stories on this have been sanitized."