For future reference the Critical Mass held on 7/30/04 in Baltimore was sublime, a beautiful exhibition of being alive and vulnerable in an age where that is dangerous. I won’t go into the political and social background behind this event. The short version of the current prospects of the world from our country’s addiction to oil is bleak. That’s a big reason that I support Critical Mass even though we can be total jerks to the automobilers.

Critical Mass courts controversy by specifically infuriating a target audience. This is the principal downside; its upside is its function as a catalyst for very positive social change. As a participant its leaderless and fluid structure diffuses the guilt that arises from being regarded as “assholes on bikes”. The beauty from the lack of organizational hierarchy is that everyone participating is doing so voluntarily with no expectation of being told what to do. This enables ideas of equal rights to the Commons and living a slower, more sustainable life-style to spread without requiring someone to articulate it. Even the most silly and sadistic bicyclists are saying “let’s all live a more sustainable life-style” with bicycles, not words.

The Ride

As people gathered for the ride the level of creativity in conveying a festival atmosphere is impressive. This ride will eventually attract more than 50 riders. Many of the faces are new…and attractive. Some people have arrived with really cool leisure bikes; others have decorated more ordinary ones. Some of us wear funny hats. We pass out signs, banners and flyers. When we finally depart we are armed with a variety of friendly ways to tell SUV drivers that bicyclists deserve their fair share of the Commons. We immediately begin riding in a large pack taking up all the lanes and slowly; with a cavalcade of trailing car horns following us throughout.

I am laughing the whole way riding with an amazingly varied group of bicyclists united by our common cause. We’re spreading discord and lunacy in public! We’re openly taking over some of the most dangerous roads for bicyclists on the East Coast. People on sidewalks are regarding us with disbelief. Many people cheer us, including a surprising number of automobilers. A family exiting the renown Center Stage Theater before curtain time is completely surprised to discover that festive lunatics slowly riding bicycles now unmistakably claim to own Calvert Street. The young woman in this group staggers backward at the spectacle worthy of Frederico Fellini and then breaks out into a wide, supportive grin.

The ride lasts about a comfortable hour and change. It concludes at the Rendezvous, a new destination for the group. The drinks are cold, the company is warm. We have a great time in this bar.

Male/Female

For me the memorable part of this evening’s ride is passing a statue. I’m referring to the very controversial, primitive and immense “Male/Female” that was designed by Maine-resident Jonathan Borosky. The widely unpopular Male/Female now resides in front of our train station, the tragically-utilized Penn Station. As we bicycle up Charles Street at this time M____ comments to me that she too, doesn’t like Male/Female. I remember then why I love it and regard it as a true masterpiece in artistic design.

Male/Female is a combination of two immense and primitive representations of a mated Man and a Woman. The figures bisect and are perpendicular to each other like poles of a compass. The statue is carefully placed so that the Man is immediately revealed, but the Woman is revealed as a surprise. As you progress up Charles Street the Woman gradually becomes the dominant figure. Each time I have watched her appear I’ve first observed her southern edge arrive in the region of the Man’s penis (if he was anatomically endowed.) To cut to the chase her arrival seems pleasantly erotic to me. Thinking of the possibilities behind Male/Female dulls some of the pain of passing by a beautiful train station which is barely utilized during this age of Global Warming.

What a great Critical Mass this was. I’m looking forward to the next one (on August 27th.)