Mecca (M.A.Hussain) GBA Church (God Bless America Church) has launched its new ideational (spiritual) product branded as "Ba Isme America" (in Arabic language it means " in the name of America") which is being sold as a new sect of Islam. The followers of this new Islamic sect have begun holding conferences in almost all-major cities of Muslim world. The Muslims and their leaders are flocking towards this new sect in large numbers. It has already become largest Islamic sect after Shai and Sunni sects. The spiritual founder of this new sect happens to be the president of America, called by the adherents of this sect as the All Mighty Lord Bush. This is first America friendly, freedom loving and idol worshing, oil oozing Islamic sect whose teachings are in tune with the best conservative American traditions.
The spiritual leader of "Ba Isme America" sect, All Mighty lords Bush, recently graced such a conference in holy city of Mecca in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. The delegates of the conference included Muslim leaders such as Musharaf BaySharaf of Pakistan, spineles Qadafi of Libya and dozens of Arab kings and oil Shiekhs. Indian Prime Minister, Shri Vajpayee, was the only non-Muslim leader present at the venue. The idol of liberty statue was installed in midst of the conference hall. The adherents of new Islamic sect were seen worshiping the idol.
Here is the transcript of inaugral speech of All Mighty Lord Bush of "Ba Isme America" sect.


Ladies and Gentlemen,
Shout Ba Isme America
It is a part of our faith of this glorious religion, "Ba Isme America", to begin every act, (including enacting of Patriot Act) after chanting "Ba Isme America". May it be Iraq war or Afghan war, We do everything after chanting this mantra. This is also part of our tradition to chant "Insha America" (America willing) after we take any vow or express any aspiration. Then folks let us shout again:
Ba Isme America
Ba Isme America
Here is a good news folk, at last we won the war on terrorism. First time in the history has a sect of Islam founded by a Christain, that too by an (one-time) American President. It is first time that an America friendly, freedom-loving, liberal, oil oozing Islam has been established and is becoming tremendously popular. Victory is ours folks.
Shout Subhana America
Shout Subhana America
Shout Subhana America
Folks you have made history by holding first ever conference of "Ba Isme America" in Holy City of Islam with the blessings of King of Saudi Arabia, with whome we have stratagic partenership based on mutaul cooperation and mutual benefit.
Let me tell you that Saudi Arabia was once an uncivilised country before its partnership with US. It did not know how to refine "crude oil" and how to process it. They were selling it to any Tom, Dick and Hary. But after our startegic partnership with this country and after our techonological support now Saudis know how to refine oil. This country has become a civilised one like America.
Now Saudi oil Sheikhs accept the fact that Islamic faith is a very backward and uncivilised faith and works against freedom and liberty. Now they admit that it is necessary to civilise and reform Muslims especially who sit on "crude oil". This is in the interest of Americans; as without this we cannot quench the thrist of oil-thristy America. Arab kings and leaders now understand that the oil is destined to be refined and procesed and no power on earth can stop this to happen. Likewise Arabs have to get reformed and no power on earth can stop this to happen.
(the audience shouts:
Jazetka America (May America bless you)
Jazetka America
Jazetka America
Moreever, it is the duty and obligation of America that uncivilised and ignorant people do not sit over essentail world resources such as "crude oil". This is threat to the very existence of American people.
Today Americans should celebrate their victory on war on terrorism and reject Kerry who has no foreign policy. Americans should open their eyes and see that their president is now the spitiual leader of a world religion, ba Isme America. Their president is being venerated by Muslim leaders the world over.
Let me tell you that Ba Isme America faith is against abortion. We admit that the Patroit Act is an illegitmate baby of Osama's rape of America, but as we are against abrotion, we have let the baby live its own life. We did not go for abortion. In fact we nurse this baby and make him more muscular as we consider this baby to be a gift of our family friend, Osama. On the other hand Kerry wants to throw this baby to some remote orphanage, that is inhuman and we are against this. Those Americans who are against abortion and against killing babies should work for my re-election. This is neccessary to free American from fear and insecurity "once for all".
Shout Insha America
Shout Insha America
Shout Insha America
As you know that there are still some elements in Muslim world who reject our cooperation altogether. In spite of that, America has all along been enagged in liberating the people from nasty tyrants and bestowed freedom over them. This was done in the interest of America, in the interest of American people,
Some of the uncivilised elements in Muslim world resist and take arms and unleashing terrorism against US. Those who resist American freedom fighters (troops) have been liberated voliently forever (by putting them to death) with the use of hi-tech wepoens and WMD including depleted uranium. The number of such saved souls is increasing day by day. For this they are to be blamed. We cannot tolerate that their tyrants exploit them and their "crude oil". This is in the interests of America and the only way to make the liberty idol smile.
You glourius audience, Kings and presidents of Muslim world, forget the houris in heaven. Join US in "ba isme America" faith. My lordship will reward you. Give each of you, GBA Church trained, harem of Dukterani (daughters of) America who will remain with you 24 hours a day for "live" spiritual support and free healing touch "ba isme America" provides to its adherents. You will realy love to keep them close to your heart in private but keep distance from them publically, as your cultural traditions do not permit that. However you have to allow them to relax this dress code in private including your bedrooms, otherwise Dukhtarani America might feel suffocated in tradiional Isalmic culture. Pampering Oil Shiekhs and bombing their political opponants has always been our foriegn policy, it is necessary if we have to suck "Arab oil". Kerry does not understand that.
Subhana America
Subhana America
Subhana America