Oh, gentle reader, be assured by a Congress which seems to have nothing better to do than forbid lawsuits against food companies by fat people, Haiti is turning into a smaller version of Iraq and the DC cops are the ones being investigated. Missiles are heading to Alaska to save us from...nothing, the NHL takes a hit and Rick Santorum opens up his spooge-filled mouth again. And Richard Pombo completes the combo, making his second appearance here at the BHC.

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Supersize This

The US Congress passed a law this week which would prevent Americans from filing lawsuits against food industry companies in cases of Acquired Corpulence Syndrome, or ACS (ok, we just made that up). It seems trial lawyers are trying to extend their feeding frenzy, intenting to villify food as yet another demonic substance capable of killing thousands of Americans every year. Indeed, it does that, or rather, those stuffing themselves silly do, with some 400,000 deaths attributed to poor diet and excess weight last year. We at the BHC are rather ambivilent about this: while we are certainly no fans of the fast food industry, that some Americans consider it reasonable to sue companies for providing abundant sources of calories is simply ludicrous. That this country even describes as an issue people being lured to a life of abject obesity by a diabolical food industry is what we find most disturbing. That and the fact that the US now has a law which prevents Americans from suing third parties for what they, themselves, have stuffed into their near-continuously fed maws. Americans demanding and being supplied deadly amounts of crappy food and then suing because they consumed it: pure madness.

As an interesting aside, we at the BHC can't help but note the perspicacious timing of this vote as it falls on the heels of McDonald's announcing that it will be removing the "supersize" items from it's menu. How congenial of them. Did this seem like a brilliant and bold decision to save Americans from themselves? Would McDonald's also prevent customers from ordering two small-size orders? In first trying to appear genuinely concerned for the health of Americans, it will be interesting to see how long it takes for McDonald's to either revive the supersize or start offering two-for-one specials now that the threat of lawsuit has been firmly squelched. Not that we really care. C'mon, people, layoff the damn fries or at least stop looking for someone to blame because you can't.

Read the article....

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Rules of Engagement

The chief of the U.S. Southern Command, General James T. Hill, has issued new orders to U.S. Marines in southern Haiti. The orders are tantamount to: shoot to kill in order to prevent further killing.

If you don't believe us, read on....

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Ram Charger

The D.C. Council Judiciary Committee is investigating allegations that D.C. Police Chief Charles H. Ramsey and other police officials conspired to cover up evidence of wrongdoing during the mass arrests of anti-globalization demonstrators in September 2002. Many readers will recall that DC police rounded up several hundred peaceful demonstrators and arrested them all in one fell swoop. We at the BHC expect that the DC police might have boasted that their sweeing arrests were not biased, racially or otherwise. Indeed, the police action appears to have been completely non-discriminatory, as the detainees included journalists, tourists and other passers-by. The committee found that the cases were meritless. The "charge" against our hapless fellow citizens was failing to obey an order to disperse which, in fact, was never issued. Displaying more concern for his besmirched character than the fact he falsly charged and arrested several hundred people, Ramsey became unhinged when, accused of a coverup, the committee appeared to be "challenging my integrity, that's just total BS." It was demonstrated to the committee that Ramsey had flip-flopped his testimony, which he, of course, denies since his character is beyond reproach.

An odd wording of things in the Washington Post story struck us here at the BHC. The Post reports that police have also been accused of "infiltrating" activist groups. The implication here seems to be that these "protest groups" are themselves clandestine, shadowy organisations bent on rending society asunder. Uh, no, they are mostly groups of concerned American citizens and pretty much anyone can go to the meetings, even citizens who might be cops. And it usually isn't hard to find anything out about these activist groups either: they're usually handing out pamphlets and posters. Can it be difficult to "infiltrate" groups like these? Well, maybe for DC police.


Read the article....

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No Intent

The NHL issued one of its stiffest disciplinary actions ever yesterday, suspending Vancouver forward Todd Bertuzzi for the final 12 regular season games and the entire postseason

It seems Mr. Bertuzzi sucker-punched Steve Moore, who fell, face-first, to the ice with a concussion, in a game between the Vancouver Canucks and the Colorado Rockies. After receiving his suspension, which will cost him $502,000, Bertuzzi came out, all teary-eyed:

"I had no intention of hurting you."

Bertuzzi skated behind Moore, sucker punched him in the head and then fell on top of him. But there was no intent in those actions, it was all an horrible mistake, provoked, in part, by a overly active thyroid gland. Either that or a steroid-induced fog of uncontrollable rage.

The NHL is the only major sporting league to see its players regularly facing potential criminal charges for their actions during games. It is this kind of nonsense which has rendered the beautiful game of hockey into an often-times grotesque display of brutish thuggery. The NHL is under the impression that that is what American fans want, but this is clearly misguided as the league is $300 million in the hole annually while attendance dwindles year after year. Wake up, guys! The NBA and the NCAA tournament don't need brawling goons to draw enthusiastic crowds.


Read the sorrowful confession....

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Network

It is rather amazing to the BHC that the Bush administration has not been caught in this before now, but it has just become evident to the watchful eye of the General Accounting Office, GAO, that Bushies are producing their own news reels, with federal dollars, wherein paid performers are seen praising the new Medicare law. The video production company, Home Front Communications, said it had hired someone to pose as a reporter and to read a script prepared by the government. The "reporter" goes on to describe the wonderous benefits of the new law. Keep it up George, keep it up.


Read on....

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I Know You Are But What Am I

Every time the words of Rick Santorum (R-Pa) make it into the public eye, Americans can generally expect a good chuckle. This time, it seems, Mr. Santorum and other Republicans are shocked, shocked, by John Kerry's remarks that the White House administration is a bunch of lying crooks. Oh yeah, that shocks us all. Santorum said Kerry should apologize for a comment "outside the bounds of where people who want to hold the highest office in this country should be making."

-Washington Post, March 11th, 2004

Let's firstly ignore that the comment is grammatically senseless: "outside the bounds of where...people should be making"? What the...what!? The more interesting feature of this near featureless comment is how studiously silent Republicans were when, campaigning for presidential race in 2000, George Bush and Dick Cheney exchanged some spikey repartee regarding a reporter covering the campaign:

"There's Adam Clymer, major-league assh--e from the New York Times," Bush said.

"Oh, yeah, he is, big-time," Cheney responded.

-Houston Chronicle, September 5th, 2000

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So Much Safer

In an effort to expand the scope of his faith-based initiatives, George Bush is now set to launch a faith-based missile defense system. Apparently the only working aspects of this missile defense system are the computer models demonstrating its functionality. Pentagon chief weapons evaluator, Thomas P. Christie, demonstrating some accumen for the role of White House spokesman, has indicated that "the system is not yet sufficiently developed to validate Pentagon computer models showing it would be effective." Time to break out the BHC parsing tool and pare down this blathering: the actual missile defense system does not work.

The Pentagon is about to fill up silos in Alaska with anti-missile missiles which aren't actually anti-missile at all. $10.2 billion is scheduled to be spent on this defense contractor boondoggle in 2005, alone. Billions on a missile system that doesn't work against a non-existant missile strike force of an unmamed country which is not known to have missiles anyway. How's that for an unknown unknown? Critics rightly point out that what is driving the scheduled deployment of the non-functional and unnecessary system is, what else, politics. Deploying the system in July will ostensibly let Bush claim how much safer America is, again, by putting in place a missile defenseless system. Most Americans, it is anticipated, will be unaware of the fact that it can't and won't actually do anything.


Read about the boondoggle....

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Mumbo Pombo

John Kerry was quoted this week in Greenwire as saying, "that black stuff is hurting us". He was referring to oil and America's dependence on forgeign reserves. Committee on Resources Chairman Richard Pombo(R-Ca), remember him? lunged at the self-evident truth with this bizarre diatribe:

“John Kerry is dead wrong. Oil doesn’t hurt Americans; John Kerry’s anti-energy policies hurt Americans. In fact, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric and bad policy that has led to the outsourcing of good American energy jobs. Last year alone, the United States outsourced more than $100 billion worth of American jobs, economic growth, and national security to foreign countries for our energy needs. Americans are left with a supply and demand imbalance that creates higher prices at the pump and longer waits on the unemployment line.”

We at the BHC can't quite figure out what Bozo-Pombo is saying or attempting to say here. He clearly believes he is criticizing John Kerry but seems unaware of the fact that it is George Bush's policies which are in place and putatively causing, "last year alone," the hemorrhaging of American jobs. The US is still facing a net loss of over 2 million jobs under Bush's watch and we have been outsourcing national security by relying on forgeign oil sources for decades.

John Kerry is exactly correct and Pombo couldn't be more clueless. Dependence on oil may not be hurting Americans now, but it will. The decades-long, growing reliance on foreign controlled petroleum supplies and the policies which have led to it, have seriously compromised the security of this country on many levels. Our ecomonic and social infrastructures are all based on one volatile thing: the price of gallon of gasoline. So heavily has the global economy come to rely on one nation's resources, that when Saudi Arabia twitches, the world shudders. Does no one in the administration have any recollection of the OPEC oil embargo?

Presumption of continued cheap oil is not a viable long-term energy policy. That this country has choosen to follow the primrose path of oil reliance and ignore the obvious conclusion to dependence on a finite and diminishing resource is what has place the US in the unholy position it now occupies in the world: imperial and mistrusted. Concerted conservation efforts must be engaged. New, promising, non-petroleum energy sources must be developed. We can no longer afford to march on other nations because we can. Partnership and cooperation with the global community, respect for nations' sovereignty and their peoples, truly fair trade, not exploitation, corruption and misconduct, will lead to equanimity and that is what will win the War on Terror. No Mr. Pombo, you are wrong. Oil will hurt Americans. It has already.


Read the weird missive....

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A grass hut, a fishing boat, tequila. Memories....