Chock-a-block week, folks, as Iran tries to mimic elections in Florida, another hated Enron crudball is packed off and American GIs are packing up and going to Canada, which also is taking for heat for having a competitive job environment for American companies. Kentuckians refuse to be bought, the Bishop gets sent up while Haiti is ablaze and no one seems to have a reason. And, guess what? The Dems are getting ready to blame Nader all over again.

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Iran-orida

In allowing the disqualification of some 2,400 liberal candidates in the recent Iranian parliamentary elections, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has clearly demonstrated his distrust of Iranians, democracy and the future. In 2000, the GOP, er, uh, Iranian hard-liners lost control of the legislature and so took steps to ensure that that would not happen in this election by adopting the theocratic-muslim-dungeon-heads only policy. Over 100 legislators, including the president's brother, deputy speaker Mohammed Reza Khatami, composed a letter roundly criticising Khamenei for this anti-democratic behaviour and in a move in keeping with such, neither the letter nor any notion that anyone could be troubled by these actions will ever appear in any Iranian newspapers. It seems the Ayatollah is infallible and answers only to God. A leader with an infallibility complex and who talks with God. Hmmm, we've heard this somewhere before....


http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040217.wiran0217/BNStory/International/

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Two Down, One to Go

Former Enron CEO, Jeff Skilling, was hauled off in FBI handcuffs this past Thursday to the disappointment of no one. A 42 count indictment was rained down upon his once enormous head, which the BHC expects has shriveled considerably these last few days. Readers will recall (see The BoneHead Compendium, Vol 9) that Enron CFO Fastow has already been arrested and plea-bargained a deal which insisted that he rat out his former partners-in-crime, aka, Enron executives. It appears federal prosecutors are taking full advantage of that deal and we applaud loudly. Next on the FBI deck: Ken Lay.


http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040219.wbenron0219/BNStory/Business/

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The Romance is Gone

No, this story isn't about George Bush and whatever it was he was doing during Vietnam. It seems Jeremy Hinzman left the 82nd Airborne Division last month and fled to Toronto with his wife and baby. Citing his "romantic vision" of the army with it's subsidized housing, groceries and money for education, Hinzman claims disillusionment with the notion of shooting and killing people. Apparently, poor Hinzman lacks even the most rudimentary education in history which might have informed him that shooting and killing people is, in general, what armies do.


http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2004/02/19/awol040219

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Giant Sucking Sound

After being warned by prescient imp, Ross Perot, that NAFTA would lead to job losses in the US, The White House and Congress have continuously enjoined against the very trade agreement so joyously signed in 1992. Perot warned of this mostly referencing the cheap labour market in Mexico. Little did anyone suspect that jobs would also get sucked to...Canada. It seems that lots of call centre jobs are moving north of the 49th. Congress is apoplectic, considering that more than 2 million jobs have disappeared in the last 3 years. To learn that the third world nation of Canada is slurping up American jobs is simply beyond the pale. Senior associate with the Center for Strategic & International Studies in Washington, James LeBlanc, likely one of those unruly Canadians designing to suck the soul from American business, points out that Congress' newest legislative tack to prevent call centre job loss is "very isolationist". Yeah. And...? We at the BHC love LeBlanc's observation that, "it's a very dangerous strategy to rely on the Americans to come to their senses — especially during a presidential election year".


http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040219.wxrcall0219/BNStory/Business/

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Numbers Schmumbers

For the second time in a week, Bush has had to distance himself from things his own White House Council of Economic Advisers has claimed. First it was that jobs moving overseas is great. And now? That the U.S. economy will add 2.6 million jobs this year. Those two notions would surely strike anyone as rather conflicted, and it's impossible to know whence these numbers come, but it's surely a dark, dank and dewy place. Bush refused to come clean and actually say the prediction is ridiculous, like everyone else has done. Instead, he avoids numbers altogether and dribbles out happy talk like so much pablum burbling up from within: "I think the economy is growing, and I think it's going to get stronger."

Amusingly, McClellan suffers another beat-down by the press corps over this point. It's hard to imagine how much more this guy can take, but he vainly sallies forth into the maelstrom. We at the BHC expect that what helps Scott cope is a sublime and rarified existence on another dimensional plane: "That's the projection of a lot of smart economists."

So, how many smart economists does it take to screw in a light bulb in the oval office? By the end of 2004, about 2.6 million. Woo-hoo! prediction met!!


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A52737-2004Feb18.html

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No Thanks, Dickweed

In a strong testimony to democracy, good sense and a GOP ass-whoppin', the good people of Kentucky elected former state attorney general Ben Chandler. Readers will recall last week's BHC wherein it was described that Republican House Speaker Hastert pledged to get the tobacco buyout bill through Congress if Kentuckians would elect Republican Alice Forgy Kerr to the 6th congressional seat. Well, the bribe didn't work. As if to say to Hastert's graft, "we are angered that you, you GOP prick, think you come to Kentucky and bribe us with your patronizing legislative promises and think we cannot see what you are doing, so take this Democrat back to Washington with you and enjoy," Chandler easily won the U.S. House seat by what would be described as a landslide of %55 to %43 of the vote. This was the nation's first federal election this year. The BHC is hoping that this is an indication of things to come.


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/02/17/politics/main600622.shtml

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End Run

In what is rapidly becoming a favoured modus operandi for his judicial agenda, Bush has snuck another right wing castigator onto a federal bench with the planting of William H. Pryor in the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit via recess appointment. Pryor is well known as an opponent of legalized abortion and as an advocate for a greater Christian influence in government. Democrats have been filibustering Pryor's nomination for almost a year and for good reason. Not only does Pryor seem unfamiliar with the concept of seperation of church and state, the reasons why this is so strongly entrenched in the constitution are just as unfamiliar to him. Senators Edwards and Shumer have denounced Bush's puerile behaviour, which seems something akin to a high school teenager wacking off in the bathroom between classes. Bush is really stepping in it with this, his second recess appointment of a right-wing, Christian zealot. Remember these words, "I'm a uniter, not a divider"? Did we actually buy that crap?


http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/20/politics/20CND-JUDG.html?hp

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New Rules, No Change

The FEC voted 4 to 2 to warn Americans for a Better Country that activities that "promote, attack, support or oppose" a federal candidate must be paid for with hard money, a type of political donation that, unlike soft money, has tight restrictions on sources and amounts. This is a broader standard than used in the past.

FEC Vice Chairman Ellen L. Weintraub said the decision should not severely constrain those seeking to raise and spend soft money.

Ok, then what's the point? Here are some new rules...but they won't change anything.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A52815-2004Feb18.html

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No Rock, But a Very Hard Place

Judge not, that ye be not judged. Words, no doubt, which Bishop Thomas J. O'Brian might have had occasion to utter when a jury found him guilty of leaving the scene of a fatal accident in Arizona this week. The Bishop struck Jim Reed, 6ft, 250lbs, and claims he thought a rock had hit his windshield, which shattered on impact. That's a damn big rock flying around in the air, ain't it Bishop? Well, only you know what you thought you had hit. Well, you and GOD, that is.


http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/17/national/17CND-BISH.html?hp

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But Why?

Rebels are rampaging through Haiti and seized control of the country's second largest city, Cap Haitien. Now, our phalanx of researchers have been pouring through the media coverage of these dramatic and terrifying events and one thing has struck our notice: there appears to be almost no reason for any of this. At least, not according to the New York Times. Or the Washington Post. Or any other notable newspaper (it goes without saying that it certainly won't be found on teevee). What we do find is lots of descriptive statements of the ensuing mayhem; gun fire there...rebels doing this...smoke over here...explosions...kaboom!

But in all this coverage, not one question or answer about why this is happening. What has Aristide been doing which has so enraged the popluation of Haiti? People generally don't behave this way over trifling matters. Shouldn't someone understand what this is all about? We did find one sentence in an AP story:

The rebels accuse Mr. Aristide of using the police and armed militants to stifle dissent and allowing corrupt officials to enrich themselves while Haitians suffer deepening poverty.
(www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040222.whaiti0222a/BNStory/Front/)

That's it? Shit, we've got that here.

And as if this weren't fuel to the fire, the US sends Assistant Secretary of State, Roger Noriega! to try and negotiate. Does it not seem a tad bizarre that America's top diplomat for the Western Hemisphere would be anyone named Noriega?


http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/22/international/americas/22CND-HAIT.html?hp

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Spoiler

We here at the BHC are not of the opinion that a democracy is better served by having fewer choices on election day and we whole heartedly agree with Nader that the Democrats' call for him to stand down is "a contemptuous statement against democracy, against freedom, against more voices and choices for the American people." The BHC has always been puzzled by Democrats yowling that Ralph Nader "lost" Al Gore the presidential election in 2000. This is such a sophistical canard that it demands some rational discussion rather than what is emanating from the mainstream Democratic body of this country. Of course, since the Democrats, themselves, are ultimately responsible for letting Bush into the White House, this red herring is not surprising.

With the election being decided by Florida, the Democrats completely bailed on the process, revealing their spinlessness by failing to stand up to the Republican bluster and expose the chicanery that went on with the scrubbing of tens of thousands of registered Democratic voters from Florida's voter registry. The fact that this story is still barely known in this country is a travesty of the American electoral process and a testament to contemptible state of the mainstream media. For the Democrats to villify Ralph Nader as the spoiler of the election is unconscionable. That the election was even as close as it was is also the Democrats' fault, and Gore's in particular. They simply ran a bad campaign.

Gore decided to distance himself from Clinton, who, then, had been recently crucified by the media and the Republicans. Hindsight recommends that this was not a good move. Despite Clinton's bumptious self-soilings, he was hardly detested by the American public and today, still enjoys enormous popularity. Within a veiled vein of moralism, Gore chose as his running mate, Joe Lieberman, a man who had been a constant, nattering critic of Clinton. Lieberman refused to drop out of a senate race while campaigning as Vice President, openly declaring to his home state that he didn't really expect this whole presidential election thing to work out. Instead of being a critic of Bush, he continually dispraised statements made by Gore. Some running mate. Needless to say, none of this represents a healthy political campaign. This is borne out not only by the national contest, but after representing Tennessee in Congress for 16 years, Gore failed to win his home state, something no presidential candidate had managed since 1972.

The BHC now fears that Democratic fulminations about Nader will defocus efforts which should be, and should continue to be, directed toward Bush. If that happens, they will blow the whole damn thing again. And they will blame Ralph Nader. Again.


http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/22/politics/campaign/22CND-NADE.html?hp

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We're outnumbered!