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LOCAL Commentary :: Media : Military : Right Wing : U.S. Government : War in Iraq

The BoneHead Compendium, Vol 4

Weekly collection of jaw-dropping nonsense
Unfortuantely, US forces are simply not going to allow for any levity this week in the BHC. Brutal and callous acts were carried out in Iraq and Afganistan in the last few days. War on Terrorism? More like Encouragement of Terrorism. The FBI is outed, O'Reilly's unruly mouth finally fesses up and Bush gets bombed.


Sunday bloody Sunday

Nothing about the US military forces' claim that 60 militants in two groups attacked two convoys escorting new Iraqi currency to banks in the city of Samarra last Sunday makes any sense whatsoever. US Brigadier General Mark Kimmit told a Baghdad press conference 54 militants were killed, 22 wounded and one arrested. But wait, Colonel Fredrick Rudesheim, who heads the 3rd Combat Brigades told reporters his troops had killed 46 and captured another 11. Now, residents in Samarra say they did not see any of these mystery Fedayeen insurgents. What is known is that a local hospital reported 8 dead civilians.

Let's imagine one possible scenario, since we are not likely to get the real story from General Kimmit or any other US military official. Convoys roll into Samarra when somebody sees a flash. Maybe some "insurgent" actually takes a pot shot at the convoy. All hell breaks loose and bystanders become just more collateral damage. Ass-covering stories ensue.,4057,8040635%5E2,00.html


Regretfully Yours

In the continued War on Terrorism, US, uh, that is, Coalition of the Willing warplanes, attacked a suspected member of the Taliban and, in the process collaterally killed nine children in the southeastern province of Ghazni on Saturday. In a supremely fatuous statement, the military forces of the Coalition of the Willing "will make every effort to assist the families of the innocent casualties and determine the cause of the civilian deaths."

Cause of death? Is this really undetermined? "Blown up" seems like it should be at the top of the list of possible causes. But wait, the nonsense emanating from statement just won't stop. It further claims that allied forces "follow stringent rules of engagement to specifically avoid this type of incident while continuing to target terrorists". Well, if these rules are being stringently followed, looks like it is time for some new rules.

It seems like it might be time for a review of such horrifying incidents ocurring in Afghanistan:

1) 9 children killed when US planes bombed a house in Ghazni
2) 48 people killed when US planes strafed a wedding party.
3) 11 people killed when US planes bombed a house in Paktika.
4) 6 people killed when US planes bombed a village mosque in Nuristan

Can't you just feel good will and the joy of freedom and democracy spreading across the land? Terrorists will be striken from the earth in no time.


Those crafty Protestors

The ACLU is rankled by a leaked memo from the FBI regarding targeting demonstrators at rallies. The memo was reported by the NY Times. Though this speaks to the nation's larger ill, some of the memo is quite unintentionally hilarious. One section speaks of "tactics" protestors might use in the pursuit of their nefarious agenda:

Protestors often use the internet to recruit, raise funds, and coordinate their activities prior to demonstrations.

Those clever protesters, using that internet...thing to coordinate and communicate. Can they do that? What tactics will they come up with next? Oh wait, further elucidation ensues:

During the course of a demonstration, activists often communicate with one another using cell phones or radios to coordinate activities....

The FBI also describes the use of videotape or camcorders by demonstrators as "intimidation techniques," which is especially chilling. The seathing undercurrent is palpable: activist --> terrorist.

Here is the whole odious memo:


64 not 71!

Rep. William Jankow (R-S.D.), on trial for felony manslaughter following the death of Randolph Scott in a traffic accident, admits on the stand to a wanton lack of regard for speed limits and stop signs in his home state of South Dakota. It is certainly nothing he can dispute. His driving record clearly shows many violations over the last few years. First reports of the accident pegged Janklow's speed through the stop sign at 71mph. In an amazing strategy, the defense offered up contrary expert testimony which independently determined that Janklow was doing only 64mph. Perhaps realising that this wasn't going to get Janklow off the hook, strategy has switched to the indubitable Reagan defense: "I just don't remember."


Humble Pie

"The humble man leads out of a sense of duty, resolve and devotion to a purpose greater than himself, while the saber-rattling narcissist stands nervously on the unstable ground of his own ego and searches for a mission." -- Doug Patton, sychopant GOP shill (

Wow, did Patton just nail George Bush or what? Well, yeah, he sure did except that he appears uaware of it. Of the two kinds of leaders in Patton's above description, guess which one he thinks applies to George W. Bush? Now, we at the BHC have sort of given it away with our description of Doug Patton, so it can't be that hard to figure out now, can it?


Save the Children

It appears that the British charity, Save the Children UK, has been under attack by its American counterpart when the UK charity officials issued statements claiming that "lack of cooperation from the coalition forces is a breach of the Geneva conventions and its protocols, but more importantly the time now being wasted is costing children their lives". Officials from Save the Children US, demanded the withdrawal of the criticism and an effective veto on any future statements blaming the invasion for the plight of Iraqi civilians. Amazingly enough, Save the Children describes itself as "the world's largest independent global organisation for children". Independence. It's a wonderful thing.,2763,1095116,00.html


O'Reilly factor

Fox News' Bill O'Reilly, on his Sept. 17 show, said: "Now, the people wanted to come on here, but I can't have them on because, you know, they're going to attack Bush. I got to defend Bush."

Fair and balanced. How is it that a putative "impartial journalist" should feel it his duty to defend Bush? Unwittingly, O'Reilly has just spoken the truth about what he and Fox are all about.


Google Bomb

Google rules!

The BHC is throwing in the last item as an anti-bonehead piece just because it is too damn good. In a reversal of roles, Bush is finally the one getting bombed by someone else.

Do it yourself and go to google and search on
"miserable failure"

Or just read about it. It has become news itself:


Well, there it is, another week of unpleasantries. And no end in sight.

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