TWISTED PHOTO SECTION: "POST-LABOR DAY" SPECIAL!

Bush labor secretary Elaine Chao announced an innovative new youth program which seeks to replace "old-fashioned" labor heroes like Norma Ray and Joe Hill with new, "more appropriate" role models

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In NYC this week, Bush unveiled what he described as his "sweeping new initiative" for helping the unemployed

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"We here at Archer Daniels Midland offer exciting overseas employment opportunities for American workers downsized from our U.S. plants..."

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We asked 4 currently unemployed citizens how they planned to spend their tax credit

Madge T., Florida: "I plan to spend it all in one place!!"
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Bill G., Oklahoma: "There are actually quite a few things this will help me take care of."
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Janice C. Pennsylvania: "I'm going to see a man about a car."
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Jack S. California "It will give me a chance to relax at home I didn't think I'd get."
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PRESS RELEASE FROM WHITE HOUSE

"The Bush privatization plan for the National Institutes of Health and EPA will insure that former federal medical researchers will not lose their jobs but be reassigned to satisfying new positions.

Here are just a few reassigned workers at their new posts!

Joe Smith, EPA atmospheric science - Joe kept telling us how important it was to clean up the environment!
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The team at Women's Health and Reproductive Studies division: They always said women should help each other!
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Harry Jeeter, marine biologist - Harry always said he wanted to work outside more!
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Judy Johnson, Pediatric medicine - Judy always said her dream was "to serve others."
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Dan Thompson and Sam Greene - environmental engineers - we made sure they were still engineers!
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