For Holy Brother Erez Levanon

by Michael Disend

The forest of Bat Ayin was his meditation chamber. The trees brimmed with life. They were a suspension of time in the midst of Judea's stony hills.

That is where Erez Levanon, musician and tzadik [righteous man] of Bat Ayin, communed with God. The tree tops, as uplifted as his heart, inspired Erez. He would wander in solitude beneath their feathery green until Providence led him to the place of prayer.

There he entered devout silence.

Opening to God.

Blooming as a Jew.

And within that beautiful and sacred spot of the Holy Land this gentle father of three was stabbed many times while at prayer.

Once again floodgates of Jewish grief sprung open. The murder of this righteous lover of HaShem left his family bereft and his baal teshuvah religious-zionist community devastated. In photographs of his funeral procession I saw mourning faces glazed with sorrow. But I am certain they will soon recover and flourish anew. For I recently returned from an extended visit to the blessed settlement of Bat Ayin, 2600 feet above the Dead Sea. and what moved me above all else is that the residents have put God first in their hearts.

In stark contrast to the grotesque caricatures of "West Bank settlers" as hateful fanatics, I met mostly loving, non-judgmental people who dwell with each other in deep accord. These are Jews from all over the world whose souls are directed toward spiritual harmony. Never -- not even once -- did I hear a negative word directed toward the surrounding Arab villagers. There was only praise for their neighbors' shared love of the land, their skill as farmers, and their traditional "family values."

This absence of negativity startled me, because over time even I had come to partly believe biased portrayals of these passionate lovers of God. That's how relentless propaganda works. I expected canards of rage and violence and racism. Instead I found serenity and inner strength. Not just in Bat Ayin, but throughout Gush Etzion. The "settlers", on the whole, are warm people, caring people. Not expropriators of property. Not supremacist zealots. Simply devout Jews who have, at long last, come home in more ways than one.

I've come to believe that one of the best things the organized Jewish community can do is conduct tours of Judea and Samaria. Foreign visitors -- and large numbers of misinformed Jews -- will return confirmed in their prior views, or they will make startling discoveries. Because in the "settlements" they will meet vividly transformed Jews -- beautiful, humble Jews toiling upon the historical land of their forefathers -- not simply perching behind computer screens in Tel Aviv. They will meet Jews growing olives, grapes and wheat with exquisite care . They will encounter Jews utterly different from any they've known before, even the most pious.Visitors can place their hands upon the soil of Judea, feel the radiant power, and an inner awakening may commence, as it did for me. They will enjoy Shabbat with large luminous families and come away fortified and grateful. Perhaps they will comprehend that under no circumstances must this sacred soil be given away to those with genocidal ill will in their hearts.

If anything, the tragedy of Erez Levanon's murder in February has made Bat Ayin stronger and her external enemies weaker.

And I have no worries for the ongoing destiny of Erez Levanon . This "simple Jew" with his kindly face, a man who sung delightedly of God to his own and his community's children, lived wisely and well. His offspring will grow taller than the sacred forest where his life was taken. And his soul's journey to its destiny continues unthwarted. What God is in Himself, how God exists in Himself, I can neither say nor describe. But I am absolutely confident of God's Grace upon Erez Levanon.

My prayers are for his murderers.

My compassion is for his assassins.

My sorrow is for his murderers.

May they finally understand that they that they have slain the essence of themselves, not those of the Jewish people or other "infidels."

It was unsurprising to learn the killers were young men from a nearby Arab village. They were quickly captured and apparently have expressed no regret whatsoever. Quite the opposite, we're told. This, too, is familiar. In the Ukraine they laughingly bashed in Jewish heads with lead pipe. They raped religious Jewish girls with drunken abandon. So to hear the terrorist entity Islamic Jihad -- modern day Nazis in every way but the name -- take "credit" for the cowardly atrocity in Bat Ayin wasn't precisely earth-shattering . Nor was the fact that Erez Levanon's death was virtually ignored by global mass media.

Still, despite all that, my prayers are for his murderers.

By their irreparable action they have removed themselves from any sort of inner peace. The destiny of Erez Levanon's murderers is to know continual pain. Not just now for but a terribly long time to come. The constant pain reflects the endless burning of hatred within their own minds. For any congratulations from their depraved mentors of destruction, the day will come when the clear light of conscience must dawn. This is God's Law. It is inevitable. Accompanying that clear light will be a tremendous inner sorrow, the like of which every shameless murderer in history has come to know. All rationalizations for the crime then vanish like acrid smoke. Any and all moments of tranquility disappear. The murderer knows only a thunderous grieving. Over and over. Hour after hour. An inner din without respite. And it will last far beyond the mourning for Erez Levanon. This long suffering can't be covered over by demonic pieties or mythical intoxications. It burns. It roars. It weeps. Then and only then, in torment and solitude, these murderers of their own souls can start the arduous recovery process of knowing God's Love.

My prayers are for the murderers of Erez Levanon.

Much as a part of me wants to say, "May HaShem avenge his blood, " I will not utter those words.

I want a heart free of hatred, anger, and revenge.

I want peace and I chose peace.

I will not let the murderers if Erez Levanon --or the demons of the Shoah -- kill my soul.

I am a Jew. And the story of the Jew is always David versus Goliath.

External enemies -- those who declare their enmity -- are real. And they are to be dealt with accordingly and realistically. But I won't let them emerge victorious by murdering my soul. My work, first and foremost, is to slay the ugly giants of fear and hatred and self pity within myself. I do that by keeping my inner gaze upon God. In that way I can live with love for all people. Even my enemies. Even Islamic Jihad. And, yes, even Nazis. For if I give in to hatred, I will have no peace and the enemies, within and without, will have won. I will have lost my soul.

This does not mean we can not and will not fight. This does not mean that murderers and terrorists are allowed to slaughter and torment Jews and go free. There is a time and a place for fighting and the nation of Israel excels at combat -- without hatred in our hearts. Our holy books teach us the secrets of warfare. When we fight with justice, with a serene love of God, we have been victorious and will be again,

My most dangerous enemies are within. I can spend the rest of my life fearing and hating all Nazis of past and present. I can obsess and fume day and night. I can even kill by the millions. But millions more will appear in their place. And I will have no peace. Ever. And the Satan, whether I believe in him or not, will take my soul. Because I will live within a prison cell of my own creation.

And I will have utterly failed to live as a true Jew in this world.

So I chose peace.

May those who sponsor the murderers of Erez Levanon, and the murderers themselves, also choose peace.

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B'rukh HaShem